from “Tired Of Trying To Measure Up,” by Jeff Van Vonderen. What is a “shame-based system?” A shame-based system can be a church or group in which the authority figure demands a certain level of performance, whether spoken or implied. If you don’t live up to the standard of the system, messages that are either… Continue reading Shame-Based Systems
I love this talk….
I know. You don’t!! What if God alone knows? What if I know what I need to know for my life, and you know what you need to know for yours? What if we are both equally confused and we’ll go through this life never knowing? Must we always be fighting about who knows, sitting… Continue reading I know. You don’t!!
I read this article a few months into recovery from depression and codependency. Along with the help of the book Codependent No More (Melody Beattie), this article helped me to identify and be aware of people in my life who are “skilled manipulators” who I allowed to speak into and control my life; and also… Continue reading Control Freaks
The other day someone said something about me being “so nice”. I’ve heard it time and time again throughout my life. It has been the one quality when I am riddled with shame and guilt that I fall back on and think to myself well, at least I’m still nice. So, in other words, my… Continue reading Ms. Nice
At an early age I knew that I was a screw up. Don’t get me wrong, no one ever told me I was a screw-up. I grew up in a nice family with a roof over my head and parents who provided for me and my brothers and who loved us very much. Our family… Continue reading Religious Masquerade