“Are you praying enough?”
“Are you reading your Bible enough?”
“Have you confessed every sin?”
“Are you even grateful?”
“Do you know what so and so is going through? Your struggle isn’t as bad as that.”
“Are you serving someone else? That’s the best way to get out of your pity-party.”
…and the list goes on and on.
These questions are hurtful, not helpful. They echo the questions Job’s friends posed to him to try to find some sort of moralistic explanation for his suffering.
Explanations are a substitute for trust. -Tullian Tchividjian
Struggling people need love and listening ears, not lists and questions. Just like Job and his friends, none of us know what God is doing behind the scenes in the life of another person, and we also don’t know his timetable.
Questions, lists, and moralistic assumptions only add exhausting burdens to the heavy load your friend is carrying, and can lead to dangerous despair.
Listening and love are always the best approach. Lighten their load by pointing them to Jesus, who invites the weary to rest.