Ghost Tree

“I have never met anybody outside the church who has come to the church because we have impressed them with our muscle, our might, our intellect, our cleanliness, our have-it-all-togetherness. NO ONE is attracted to the Christian faith because of that. Let me tell you what they are attracted to – not our competence – they are attracted to our CONFESSION. When we’re the first ones to stand up and say we’re WEAK, we’re bedraggled train wrecks and Christianity is not a crutch, it’s a lot more than that. I don’t need help walking, I need to be raised from the DEAD…and I’m not better than you are, I’m just as MESSED UP as you are. I’m just as BROKEN. We are all broken people, living in a broken world, with other broken people. In fact, YOU may have it more together than I do. That is when the world begins to pay attention.” Tullian Tchividjian, Hero of the Faith, Part 8

My confessions, for now…

I’m weak

I get weary often

I am fearful that if you knew the REAL me, you would leave and never return

I am inspired by vulnerability

I am turned off when you try to act like you have it all together

I am turned off when I try to act like I have it all together

I cry about the pain I’ve caused my family and friends

I’m desperate for healing, but mostly I’m desperate for Jesus

I hate my masks

I worry too much about pleasing people and need to be more concerned with pleasing God

I’m encouraged when my friends still love me after I’ve confessed something

I let the enemy harass me too often

Shame doesn’t help me or anyone

I wish I had a closer relationship with my brothers, but I believe my sensitivity has pushed them away

I often fantasize about going to a mountaintop somewhere and screaming all the anger out of me till there is no scream left

I have a history of hiding

I’ve lied

I’ve manipulated

I’ve been angry at God

I struggle with accepting the world as it is, but try to remember God has a plan and there is an upper story

I wonder all the time about the damage my depression and anxiety had done to my daughter

I have had a victim mentality most of my life and am desperate to be free from it

I have never been good at handling finances and often wish I lived in a world without money

On the flip side…

THE LORD HAS BEEN WITH ME ALL OF MY LIFE, even when I wanted nothing to do with Him

My Heavenly father delivered Briana from a seizure disorder

The Lord delivered my father from cancer and now he enjoys eternal life in Heaven

The Lord delivered me from the pit of depression

The Lord hears my prayers

My eyes have been opened to see how important it is to bring things into the light and I pray that all the secrets will come out in God’s timing

I’m grateful for Celebrate Recovery – where NO PERFECT PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED

The Lord knows my heart and knows that I am desperate for him.

The Lord creates BEAUTY from ASHES

I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV


2 thoughts on “Confession

  1. Our brokenness shines brightly in a dark world! I am so encouraged and blessed by our friendship. You are a delight…even with the laundry list of confessions, I confess, “I love you even more because of your vulnerability!”

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